God’s New Blessed Soldier

SOLDIER OF THE FREE MARKET! YOU ARE NO LONGER A SOLDIER OF A UNITED STATES ARMED FORCE. YOU ARE A SOLDIER OF THE KILLING MACHINE BOBBY JOE! YOU ARE HERE TO COMPLETE KILL AND WAR CONTRACTS! YOU ARE HERE NOT TO THINK, BUT TO KILL! AND IF KILLING TAKES TOO MUCH THOUGHT SOLDIER THEN YOU WILL DIE!

YOU KILL THE ENEMY. THE ENEMY MAY BE MOM. THE ENEMY MAY BE DAD. MAYBE THE ENEMY IS UNITED STATES CITIZEN. BE HAPPY YOU ARE NOT THE ENEMY OF AN EMPLOYER OF BOBBY JOE.

YOU DO WHAT YOU ARE CONTRACTED TO DO. YOU WILL INVADE, KILL, CONTROL AND WAR. YOU ARE BORN TO WAR, SOLDIERS. NOW FIND THAT WAR. BECAUSE IF YOU DON’T FIND WAR. WAR WILL FIND YOU!

If you are looking for work, there’s always a gun in Bobby Joe waiting for a soldier to carry into the war. All you need to do is run at the enemy and pull a trigger to shoot a gun. You get bonuses for kills. If you live, you will have unlimited war stories. And while you are an active employee soldiering for Bobby Joe, you will get free health insurance.

I would like to remind all the soldiers of Bobby Joe, who put their lives in the line of fire EveryCycle to win the War on Terror, the War on Eden, the War on Cyberspace that to die during battle is the greatest honor for any citizen of United States of Eden.

To die during battle is to place your name among the list of the only true heroes of United States of Eden. For every citizen knows that we must continue our war to end the war.

I realize at times, soldier, dying can be scary, but going to Heaven with you battle gear will make Christ itself open the gate of you to float to Heaven and meet the strongest battle commander of them all: God.

That’ s right. With the honor of dying in battle, comes the reward of believing in God and the reward of become the Greatest Type of United States of Eden Citizen: A Dead War Hero!

Soldier, the only way we can lose a war is if we stop fighting the war.

SO FIGHT! FIGHT WITHOUT LEGS! FIGHT WITHOUT ARMS! FIGHT WITHOUT EYES! FIGHT UNTIL YOU DIE!

Soldier, the only way we can lose a war is if you stop fighting even after death. We need you fighting from the grave. We need you wanting you after life A.I. to fight the cyber war. It is time to not give up the fight, so we can win the war.

SOLDIER, THE ONLY WAY WE CAN LOSE A WAR IS IF WE STOP FIGHTING

IF YOU DIE IN BATTLE YOU WILL BE A TRUE HERO!

IF YOU DIE IN BATTLE YOU WILL BE A HONORABLE CITIZEN

IF YOU DIE IN BATTLE YOU WILL BE TAKEN TO HEAVEN.

IF YOU DIE IN BATTLE YOU WILL BE A PATRIOT.

IF YOU DIE IN BATTLE YOUR DEATH WILL BE HONORED.

IF YOU DIE IN BATTLE THEN GOD WILL FOR GIVE YOU FOR YOUR SINS.

IF YOU DIE IN BATTLE YOU WILL NOT DIE AS LONG AS THE UNITED STATES OF EDEN LIVES.